I had made sure before admitting my children in the school that they will not be punished and handled strictly without any reason. But it is very sad to say that everyday children come home and complain that they were punished brutally on silly/minor mistakes. Children don’t want to go to school the next day which makes their father angry and upset. There is no good school around. Children have become very stubborn since they have joined school. Is there any psychological reason for this behavior?
(Rahila, Lahore)
Advice: - this is a fact that unnecessarily punishing and strictness has negative effect on children. You should talk to the principle of school for training there teachers.
The teacher should teach children without giving them any physical harm. You also need to pay more attention to the children at home. Teach them to respect their elders. If they are good enough in studies then they could save themselves for punishments. If still they are treated in the same manner in the school, then you should complain to principal, punishing children is the common practice in schools in our country. This negative approach should be changed.
Ends in Disagreement
I have been married for three years now. I have been facing many problems. We don’t have mutual understanding. He disagrees with me always. Conflicts never end. This leads to heated argument that is also heard by neighbors. I feel that I should discuss my problems with my family, however my husband don’t want me to share any sort of matter with my family. This is another disagreement between us.
(Saima Shakeel – Hayderabad)
Advice:- often people are very cautious in discussing their matters with others. They think that others will not be able to solve their issues. Similarly some people are in a habit of discussing every minor thing with others. Both these approaches are wrong. First you need to try to solve your own matters by discussing them in a very polite manner. But if both are not able to solve their matters then there is no harm in taking an expert advice.
Psychological problem
I am not well from last 6 months. I often have headache and muscle pain. I am also suffering from high blood pressure. I have been admitted to the hospital many times. The blood pressure shoots up as soon as I come home and get angry very quickly. Doctors say that this is a psychological problem. Doctors have given medicines but of no help. Now my whole body often starts shivering. When I go to my village I feel better. When I come back home I get sick again.
(Saim Hasan, Islamabad)
Advice:
The process of heart is always affected by good and bad experiences in life. Mental pressure, fear, continuous work or rest has its own effect on the system. Example the heart beat increase in anger, fear and happiness. Sometimes the patient suffering from high blood pressure doesn’t have any solid reason for their disease. In this situation such patients need to work on how to get rid of their mental pressure. You have mentioned about the shivering of body. You need to check with your doctor as the medicines could have negative effects that can cause shivering. Psychological problems like the other disease do not totally depend on medicines. They also need to be treated by precautions.
I do not have Peace of Mind:
Whether I stay at home or outside, I feel something wrong is going to happen. Unnecessary thoughts are always on mind. The fear of death is always on my mind. My room is on the top floor and I often feel scared going to my room. I am not in peace.
(Anam- Karachi)
Advice:
The fear of death is normal. Often when you talk to people on death, they all will have the feeling of fear about death. However not living a normal life due to fear of death can lead to a psychological problem. You are actually in a state of phobia. In order to have peace in life think how many times you have faced problem due to your fear maybe not even once. So these are only fearful thoughts only that you can ignore in future. These fears are just your own creation of thoughts. They don’t have any reality. Get rid of all types of fears from your mind and heart with your string will power.
